Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One Resume To Rule Them All

Most companies get inundated with resumes. I was thinking of ways to jazz things up and I stumbled across this font website.

Hello! This is how I can truly stand out and show people my creative side. Here's my resume in Elvish. References available upon request.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Don't Mess With My Boy

Last weekend, the boy was playing on his co-ed soccer team as usual. But some girl pushed him and he fell down.

Look at the size of his bruise! It's JUST starting to get purple and nasty.



I demanded the name of this stupid girl so that I can push her down and smack her around a bit. Ohmygosh... I am SO mad.

I think I better start going to his soccer games so I can protect him better. Seriously. Really, really mad!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dear Diary

Credit has to go to my sister for giving me this idea. Most little girls keep a diary. I was no exception - I got my first diary on December 26, 1982 (I was 11).

A while back, I read it out loud to my husband who couldn't stop laughing. There seems to be a certain theme ... judge for yourself.

Cover: If anyone finds this please return it as soon as possible without reading the book!

Oct 27, 1983: ..."I got sort of a crush on Mark but I won't admit it to anyone. I'm not over Steve yet..."

Oct 28, 1983: "I love Mark and Steve both and I probably will never get over Steve but Mark's taking his place."

Oct 29, 1985: "Dani used to like a fellow named Barry but unfortunately, I think I am making him think that I like him! Gross!!"

Jan 2, 1986: "I am in love. Not an infatuation or a brief crush but goodness to truly love.... with Barry. Anyway, I have Barry's phone number and we called him up and said "Merry Christmas" and hung up. I called him again and this is how our conversations went:

"Hello Barry?"
"Speaking" or something like that
"We want to apologize for the other phone calls."
"Who are you?"
"Well, if you don't know that then you're retarded."

I can't remember in detail how it went but it was major thrilling to me."

May 23, 1986: "I like Raymond again!"

Aug 27, 1987: "I feel so exhilerated! On the way home, I held Andrew's hand...I'll remember it forever!"

Nov 2, 1987: "After I broke up with Andrew, I felt really depressed. I don't think I'll forget him really but it's hard to look back right now. The break up is too new. But not new enough to stop me from finding a new boyfriend. His name is James."

Feb 5, 1988: "One Tues. Feb 2 (what would have been our third month anniversary), James and I broke up."

Feb 26, 1988: "Today I took the bus home. I was sitting at the back ... when this guy comes and sits next to me. [ed. a conversation ensues]. Wow! I think I'm in love!"

~~~. ~~~.
*cough*

Err. Yeah.
I judiciously omitted the REALLY embarassing entries. What's also amazing is that I managed to maintain an A+ average.

Anyways. I throw my husband under the bus a lot. I thought it was only fair to see what the view looks like from there...

It's PRETTY FREAKING CRAPPY!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Oh Christmas Tree

A lot less mess than the real thing (and less worry that the tree will burst into flames) and definitely lacking in the pine scent (candles to the rescue). I don't know... I never liked the idea of hacking down a tree for a few weeks display.

I mean, if it's to become paper for my crafting obssession, that's different. A noble cause worthy of sacrifice!

Anyways, I think the tree is done. Or very close to it. Maybe a few more ornaments and some ribbon. I wanted to go with all red but it looked too dark so I threw in some gold here and there.



Prior to my Rebel, all of my Christmas tree pictures looked like this. Either washed out with the flash or really, really yellow. Thank god for software.

Tonight is my jewelry/martini party. So I need to practice making chocolate and apple martinis. 10 bucks says I'll be drunk before my friends arrive.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

H - E - Double Hockey Sticks

Thanks to Ocho for linking this blog: Hello Kitty Hell. Very funny. It also serves to remind Fizzienub how LUCKY he is.

Hello Kitty condoms?!


Also, my sister decided to create her own blog (and update it every 5 minutes). She also thought it would be fun to go shopping during Black Friday Hell


Me? I'm still eating turkey leftovers and napping every 4 hours. That's my hell.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Hodge Podge

Busy, busy weekend.

Picked up my baby with the new bumper. The body shop washed and cleaned my car, complete with that new car smell. What's up with that? Lots of card making with friends on Saturday followed by a dinner party. Alas, I forgot to take my camera with me so no pictures of the crazy DDR night.

This is a slap out to one of my readers. I've been told from a reliable source that after viewing my cat's yoga photo, you said I "need to get a job". Says the man who tells his girlfriend to put him to work: like caulking the home (check, done that), cooking dinner (on a daily basis AND I make him lunch), weeding the garden (been there, done that), painting a room in the living room (I did my whole house - talk to the hand) and finally physical satisfaction (PUHLEESE). I'm pretty "magical" too. So there. And yes, I am sticking my tongue out at you.

Anyways... I've started my Christmas decorating but I am undecided.



I put up these garlands this evening but I'm not sure if I like them. Nor am I certain about the red circles on the fridge. Hmmmm.

I asked Fizzienub what he thought when he came home and he paused for a long time. Not a good sign. After a moment, he said, "They're not your usual elegant and simple style". He went on to comment that the smaller garlands look Mardi Gras-ish and he didn't like my hand-made red/green circles at all. I gave him a timeout.

So, I need your opinions. Too garish, tacky? Or festive and cheery?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Candy Beggars

It's weird. Like clockwork, every October, a slew of candy beggars show up at our door.

Ooooh nostalgia.... We used to go all out for Halloween when I was little. We'd have groups of kids who'd scout neighborhoods and report back who had the best loot. And multiple costumes so we could make the late night rounds and pick up all the left overs. For 8 year olds, we had quite the racket. I also recall "distributing" the candy my brother and sister brought home. Ahhh... good times.

Alas, Fizzienub isn't able to share the walk down memory lane. He wasn't allowed to trick or treat as child, since my FIL (who is hilarious!!) considered it extortion. I can see that.... "gimme candy or I'll have to trick you! Muhahaha". Yup. Text book extortion.

So, for very different reasons, we tend to go all out with the candy. Last year's goodie bags were a huge hit but took way too long to put together and were too expensive.

This year, we just threw down the big bars.



May I just say that we started out with 60 bars on Saturday and we were down to about 37 this morning. In fact, I had to go buy extra bags of chocolate for the kids just in case we ran out. I'm not pointing any fingers but my husband ate 23 whole chocolate bars in the last 4 days.

Anyways...

Curious George
Originally uploaded by Toki~

It's fun to see what costumes are popular in little kid land since we don't have any rugrats ourselves. The last few years, the Incredibles and Spiderman were very big. This year, Superman Returned! And a lot more skeletons and even the Grim Reaper himself.

My favorites are the little tiny ones that barely make it up the steps unassisted and are almost always outfitted in big, adorable poofy costumes.

Like this Curious George. How CUTE is that?!!!?!

I think I have next year's costume for the boy all planned out.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I Am Ninja

We've been invited to a Halloween costume/erotic ball (but then again, who hasn't?!). I haven't been really interested because I dislike wearing costumes or spending a bunch of money to rent/buy something I'll wear once in my life.

However, if I could wear something like this, I'd be all over it.

Torin Boyd/Polaris, for The New York Times

You can read more about the Vending machine skirt and the brilliance behind this concept. Apparently, she got the idea from ninjas and how they blend in with their environment. May I just say how useful this sort of thing would have been while I was working?!

Back to this party/ball thing. Our friend Kathy is coming over tonight to help find us some appropriate costumes that won't cost an arm and a leg and that won't offend my delicate sensibilities.

It should be interesting.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Look What I Can Do!

Another gorgeous, sunny day. When the sun shines here after mid-October, you learn to appreciate it.

It's been a perfect Tuesday afternoon. After spending the morning cooking and baking, I now have a nice, clean kitchen. Sooooo peaceful...



That is until my cat came to find me.

There's something you should know about the cow cat. He has this nasty little habit of tracking me down wherever I am ... in order to lick his butt in front of me. It doesn't matter where I am, he'll find me.

I was drinking coffee and enjoying the sun when the cat sauntered in, plopped himself right NEXT to me on the couch and proceeded to do some yoga.



My husband thinks this is amusing.

[ed. As an aside, isn't this picture completely disgraceful?? It's got a certain Britney'esque quality about it, don't you think?]

Monday, October 22, 2007

Negotiate This!

The vacuum rant yesterday reminded me that I haven't had much to complain about lately. Which is a good thing! Life has been pretty darn amazing now that my crazy work situation and the horrors of incredibly invasive jaw surgery are behind me. So, I've been coasting along on a sea of hobbies, fun times, cooking/baking, redecorating and entertaining.

However, we're currently in the process of repairing and remodeling our master bathroom. And I'm the one interviewing and meeting with potential tilers, plumbers and contractors. What a mess.

The bids are all over the map, fluctuating by thousands and thousands of dollars depending on who you're talking to. Don't even get me started on the guys who brushed things off with "we don't need a permit". Excuse me? Get your shoes back on and peddle your slum building sleeze somewhere else.

Maybe it's because I'm female and these construction types think I won't negotiate or figure out what's the standard rate and discover I'm being gouged for additional 40%? Seriously, for that much extra money, I expect the bathroom to fellate my husband each time he brushes his teeth.

Also, frameless glass shower doors cost over $3000? WTF?!

We're getting an outhouse with a hose.

~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~



Those crappy tiles and horrible metal-framed shower have got to go!

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Millennium Falcon

Finished last night! Instead of my usual write up, I've decided to interview the builder.

The Interview:

1. What was your initial reaction when you found out that Lego was releasing the super gigantic version of the Millenium Falcon?

Extreme happiness.
[At this point I stopped and asked him if all of his answers were going to be one or two words long ... which would make for a pretty boring interview.]

2. You must have been rather impatient waiting for it to arrive. How long did you have to wait?

I had to wait 7 months and it was agonizing. About once a week, I would log in and look at the pictures.
[Towards the last week, he would call me at least once a day to ask if it had arrived yet. Drove me crazy.]

3. And what went through your mind when you found out it had arrived?

I was thinking - "hmmm, I wonder if I can leave work early".
[He did leave work early.]

I call this photo: Anticipation.



4. Describe opening the box.

[He directed a snotty glance in my direction before snorting...]
I don't know anything about opening the box. I was wondering if it would be set up the same way as the Imperial Star Destroyer.
[What he doesn't remember is that there was a lot of Ooohing and Ahhhing when all the bags tumbled out.]



5. Describe your organizational system.

Well, I knew that if I left it all in the bags then it would be too hard to find the pieces. It took a lot of time but it was worth it and it was kinda enjoyable in itself.



The ship in progress:



Millennium Falcon: Side View



Millennium Falcon: Front view (can you see Han Solo and Chewy in the cockpit?)

 


6. So, what do you think now that you've finished?

It was fun. Umm. My fingertips are sore. It looks great and was well worth it. I'm kinda sad that it's done - it was 7 months of waiting and 2 and half weeks of building. And now I'm going to have to wait 2 years before the next UCS comes out.

7. How awesome is your wife?

Phenomenally awesome.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Sunset

The boy called me as I was fiddling around in WoW. "There's an amazing sunset - let's go for a ride."

So I left this sunset...



For this...



Pretty nice upgrade.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Photography For Dummies: The Sequel

I should probably buy some books on digital SLR photography and maybe even a how-to guide on Photoshop but that's not my style. If I can't suffer through a million trial and error attempts and then finally google it in frustration, it's not worth doing. Yup.

It's a good thing the internet is full of helpful and knowledgable people. Thanks to fellow bloggers, I take all of my photos in P mode and in a RAW format. It's the best way to manipulate the white balance, exposure data etc.

In order to illustrate the practical application of my edu-ma-cation, I'm going to use my favorite model: the Sprinkle donut.

This is what the original RAW image looks like. I don't use flash because it washes out the colors. And even with a kitchen full of light and 2 side lamps, all of the photos came through with this yellowish hue. Probably because I'm using incandescent bulbs. A big no no.



Then I imported the photo in my RAW image editor and went to town on the white balance and brightness. Much of the yellow hue is gone and it's much brighter. This is the photo I originally posted when we got our 2nd bucket of donuts ... naively thinking that this was as good as it got.

Now that I look at it, I think it's got a pinkish-red undertone.



Enter Photoshop. Today I found out about layers and curves. After fiddling with the above photo for a bit, this is what I ended up with. The pink is gone and the colors just pop. This is very, very close to what it actually looked like: a bright jewel of an artery-clogging treat.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, regarding the poll.

I am completely dumbfounded by the preliminary results. I had no idea that so many people slept naked! I'm betting it's all men. Yup.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

What Do You Wear To Bed?

There's a poll on the left.

The boy and I had a late night conversation about this and I have a feeling what the majority answer will be.

----

Update Oct. 8, 2007.

I want to know who the heck is sleeping nekkid!!??

Friday, October 05, 2007

Packaging

Yesterday I went sports underwear shopping with the boy and was amazed. The diversity in marketing approaches for the same product was very ... noticable. Perhaps they're selling to a different audience?

Take for instance, Fruit of the Loom. A fairly sensible, no nonsense brand - something a man would buy for himself. Their approach: simple drawings of the boxers and briefs.

Jockey is a fairly no-frills brand too. And although they had models on their packaging, it was a very streamlined look (see the model on the left). No obscene, over-the-top bulge here.

Then there was Calvin Klein. We spent a lot of time in the Calvin Klein section -- correction -- I spent a lot of time in the Calvin Klein section which was punctuated with a lot of "Look at that!", "Good lord!" and finger pointing.

I wanted to buy the Calvin Klein underwear.

I think we found their audience: "If I buy my husband/significant other these boxers, he will look exactly like the picture".



We got the Jockeys.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Tokidoki

I believe that when female asian babies are born, they are immediately inundated with Sanrio images. This is further compounded by a perpetual onslaught of cutesy, cartoony toys, games, school supplies and even clothing during our formative years.

And while I think this happens to some degree in other cultures, it is most prevalent and most successful in Asia (Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, etc).

It is the only reason that can explain why I covet this bag so much. COVET with a burning, white-hot passion.


Don't blame me. I've been programmed this way since birth.

Someone buy me this bag.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Eat It

A trip to the Supermarket this morning informed me that I need to start prepping for Halloween and Thanksgiving. You have to admire the commercial engine that keeps this country running. I guess summer is well and truly over but at least now I can make pumpkin spice cookies and it won't seem out of place.

On my list of things to learn is "bake from scratch". No more cookies from a bag or refrigerated tube. With practice comes less mess so I didn't shower the kitchen in flour this time. And even if I did, there wouldn't be any photos of that.

I love this recipe. Cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves have a very strong smell and it perfumed the entire house.


Here's my small army of cookies waiting to be glazed. They taste like mini-pumpkin pies with frosting. Also, those green oven mits rock. I could probably put them in lava and wouldn't feel the heat. Almost.


And no ziploc bags or Tupperware containers for me anymore. La! Martha Stewart would be so proud. Yes, I went the extra million miles and made up these decorative cellophane bags. All that's missing is the dorky "From the Kitchen of..." tag.

Okay, I'm not that bad... yet. I think I'll just stamp them with my signature "Eat it."


~~
Pumpkin Spice Cookies (courtesy of my friend Angela)

INGREDIENTS:
Cookie:2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree (do not use pumpkin pie mix)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Glaze:
2 cups confectioners' sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon melted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, and salt; set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, cream together the 1/2 cup of butter and white sugar. Add pumpkin, egg, and 1 teaspoon vanilla to butter mixture, and beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop on cookie sheet by tablespoonfuls; flatten slightly. The flatten part is important because these cookies hardly spread when they bake. If they're too thick, they tend to get soggy.

3. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven. Let the cookies cool and dry completely, then drizzle glaze with fork. Again, let the glaze dry completely.

4. To Make Glaze: Combine confectioners' sugar, milk, 1 tablespoon melted butter, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add milk as needed, to achieve a consistency you like.

Yields about 3 dozen cookies. I usually get about 40 or so.

Let me know what you think!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Pampering

Monday was one of those blah days, so I called the boy at work and told him I needed to be pampered and wooed. He laughed. After a few minutes of convincing, he got the message that I was indeed serious.

He came home laden with Thai food (yummy), gourmet cupcakes and roses. I was able to take some pictures of the flowers this morning but the cupcakes ... not so much. They didn't last very long.

I loved that this bouquet was full of different roses. My preference in colors changes every year it seems. For the longest time, only red would do... then pale pink. Lately, I've been drawn to the vibrant yellows and oranges.

Normally, I wouldn't have had time to take all these photos but I forgot to wash my bathing suit so no pool for me. Instead, I spent the morning cleaning. There's something about having a neat and tidy house ... so relaxing and serene.



Now I can go scrapbook! I know, I know. Apparently, I'm still being pampered. *grin*

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Boy's DDR Video

Ummm.. Here's a video of the boy wonder in action.



I am so gonna burn for this.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dance Fool! Dance!

Looking for ways to improve his footwork in soccer, the boy looked to what all the elite soccer players use: Dance Dance Revolution. "What do you think?" he asked me.

"GET IT!"

A friend of his graciously lent us her game so that we could try it out. The dance pad is huge! And the music. Argh. Why must it be so technoish? Ick.

Ever so wise, the boy started with the training level. Which is below Beginner. On with the dancing! Oh dear. Although the game will tell you where to place your feet, it won't tell you what to do with your hands. At first, he started marching and then as the moves got faster, he converted to flailing about. After a few songs, he was actually doing fairly well and got a little cocky.


"I think I'll try the Standard level", he said and waited expectantly for the music to start. I wasn't watching the screen since I was taking photos, but the footwork got more frenzied and then the swearing started.

"Oh shit..... OH SHIT!!! Oh MY GOD! SHIT SHIT! !@(*$&!^^^!!!"

Things got progressively worse as the feet flew off the mat and he almost fell over a few times. I know I did... from laughing so hard. In the end, the score was pretty dismal.

101 Boos!


This is going to be a fun few weeks. *grin*

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I loved that song by Bonnie Tyler. Nothing says the 80's like a good old fashioned rock-love song. But I digress. This past Monday, there was a total lunar eclipse. The husband and I had originally planned on watching it since we're both astronomy buffs but that was before we realized that optimal viewing was between 3-4 am.

Kiss of Moon viewing death. Some of my neighbors did stay up and took some photos - so I can't take any credit for these great shots. I'm dismayed that I missed it. One of those rare, clear, cloudless nights in Portland too. *sigh*.

I can't believe how reflective the moon is. It looks like a giant light bulb.

And voila. I knew that it went red but I didn't realize it would be such a vivid red. Hmmm. Isn't this supposed to be a harbinger of death and destruction?

Thanks Ryan for these great photos!
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I went to another one of the boy's soccer games last night. I was all excited about taking some action shots and forgot how smelly this building is. As soon as I walked in, a tidal wave of gym socks, sweaty men and body odor assailed my senses. Grooooosss. It didn't help that it was unseasonably warm here yesterday.

To add insult to injury, despite the bright overhead lights, it was too dark to take freeze frame action shots. I'll need to get some serious flash wattage next time. I was able to salvage one photo: here's the boy sitting on the bench! He's to the right of the guy in the orange. Doesn't he ooze power and flexibility? Watch out Beckham!

Oh, the score was kinda one sided. I think they stopped keeping track after the yellow team scored their 10th goal. *whistles*.


On the ride home, I decided to see what long shutter speeds could do at night. This is a brightly lit office building.


And this is the boy's favorite dining establishment: Taco Bell. Can you see the signature colors of purple and blue? The red blurry lights are the dashboard of the car.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Return O The Bucket

So much for not eating any donuts for 10 weeks. The bucket beckoned. Once again, our kitchen was covered with these healthy doughballs.

Thanks to Rasa Malaysia for her post-processing tips - it made a world of difference! Look at the difference in the donut photos the last time we had the bucket.

[Ed. This picture of the Memphis Mafia (a banana fritter with peanut butter, chocolate and chocolate chips) was uploaded on 8/29]. I ate it for breakfast this morning. Well, a good 30% of it. The thing is massive - it's sitting on a dinner plate!



The rest of these photos were taken at night with regular kitchen pot lights. Still not too bad - not my lightbox but it works!


Mmmm. Fruitloop donuts. It was very, very hard not to eat all the Fruitloops off these in between pictures.


And my favorite (looking) donut, the sprinkle.



Here's a side by side comparison of what my old camera can do versus the new beauty. Just a world of difference, I think.

Monday, August 27, 2007

After 3 Days...

I am still not a world-class photographer. Hmmpfh. Imagine that. *insert angry frustration here*. Still learning about exposures and white balance. CURSE YOU WHITE BALANCE! I even made myself a lightbox for macro shots but the damn white balance has the background coming out faintly pink.

So, out of 500 or so shots over the weekend, here are three that I'm somewhat happy with. [ed. I added this red flower picture on 8/28]



This is the wittle teacup that the boy made for me during our Weekend of Fun! Hard to gauge the size in this shot.



I have a handful of very colorful crochet needles that a friend gave me. Aren't they pretty?



I was trying to isolate the center of this picture and blur out the rest of the image. It makes for an interesting shot. Actually, I kinda get a headache if I stare at it too long. I won't bore everyone with the details of my new hobby in mindless future posts but suffice it to say, I suck at this so far.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Red is Red?

Some preliminary comparison shots. In retrospect, I should have turned off the TV in the background. That's a little distracting - doh!

I chose a bright red pincushion as my first subject. Both pictures were taken on a tripod (although height and angle differ slightly because the cameras are different sizes). Neither picture has been photo shopped.

Picture 1: Panasonic DMX FX-01 6.0 megapixel (regular point and click digital camera). Click on the photos for a larger version. Even though I wanted the pincushion to be the main focus, the background objects are clearly visible. Blah! Also, the red came out almost an orangey-red and the fabric of the pincushion looks almost fuzzy and felt-like.


Picture 2: Canon Digital Rebel XT 8.0 megapixel. Because I was able to change the aperture setting, the background is nice and blurry. This is a truer shade of red and you can actually see the grain of the fabric.


Hmmm. James has a soccer game tomorrow. Maybe I should test out the continuous shooting mode! Freeze frame his moment of glory! Ooooh!

My New Toy

My sweet and wonderful husband (isn't he the best?!?!) bought me a new toy: the Canon Digital Rebel XT. This is my first DSLR camera so I wanted something that was user friendly, dependable and affordable. Although I think this entry level price is somewhat of a bait and switch scam since the lenses for these babies are the real money makers. Anyways, isn't it purty?!



I haven't taken any pictures with it yet since the battery is still charging but I'm going to do some comparison shots with my point and click digital camera. The boy did make me promise not to barge in on him while he's taking a shower so alas, no nudie pics.

Also, I've noted that people seemed to be a little... repulsed by my spam adventure! Don't be h8'in the spam, folks. It's a perfectly acceptable meat and food alternative!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Spam Spam Spamity Spam!

For some odd reason, I had a craving for Spam a few days ago.

And no, Koi. I am NOT pregnant. I actually grew up with Spam because Koreans (freaks that we are), enjoy the canned "delicacy". In fact, there are spam restaurants and spam gift sets. Crazy eh? Spam and on line games. That's what the country is built on.

Anyways, my mom's old tried and true recipe for spam sandwiches was pretty simple. Get out the can of Spam.

Check.

Note: Even though it says 25% less sodium... that's 25% less from 1,000,000 grams of sodium. So still pretty damn salty. I forgot how salty spam was. Or how gelatinous.

Next step, remove the Spam from the can. This involved a lot of shaking and then PLOP! out gushed the Spam. MMmmmm... mouth-watering goodness. If you like the look of pink, jellied, mushy goop. Look at that neato wrinkle of stuff on the bottom.

Afterward, I sliced the Spam and dipped it into an egg batter for frying. Spam, eggs and Spam.


Since I didn't have sandwich fixings, I just ate it with a side of rice. Spam, eggs, Spam, rice and Spam.

So, now that I've satisfied my Spam craving, I can go another 20 years before indulging again.

SPAM!