Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Holy Crapola, Batman!

In the last few years, there's been a glut of movies based on comic book heroes. In my opinion, most of them were giant flaming bags of poo.

A few weeks ago, I had the misfortune of watching Crapwoman.. errr... Catwoman. There are no words. The following from Wiki says it so much better than I ever could:

"This film received seven Golden Raspberry nominations in 2005. It won in the categories of Worst Picture, Worst Actress, Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay. Halle Berry accepted the award for Worst Actress personally, apologizing for the film, and speaking frankly in interviews about her views regarding problems with the film."

Wait, I do have stuff to say. A magical cat? Evil face-cream? An unbreakable Sharon Stone? Halle Berry's hip-jarring "cat walk"? Crap CGI (the TV series "Land of the Lost" had better special effects) that looked like black worm goop flying across the screen. I was sooo angry after watching the movie, the boy wisely hid from my sight since he opted NOT to share in the abuse.

Then, there's Ironman. I was all prepared to hate it but whether it was low expectations or something ... it wasn't bad. And actually quite enjoyable. Here are some pointers for a successful superhero movie:

1. One villain. Instead of the 15 that we're used to thanks to Batman and Spiderman.
2. Some character development. Well as much as can be expected in a 90 minute movie.
3. Decent special effects.
4. And most importantly, a quiet and fairly empty theater with no heavy breathing, foot tapping fattie sitting behind me!

You know. I think that's the secret to life. Have low expectations and avoid gross men.


  1. There were two villains. The only difference is that one was just being developed for the sequel and didn't have his final encounter in this movie, the other did.

    But the lead terrorist guy is a reinterpretation of The Mandarin. Trust me, he'll be back.

  2. So far I'm batting a thousand on the movies that I leave Toki to watch.

    Catwoman was painful from the beginning. I have no idea how she was able to continue watching...

  3. "Geek much?"

    As often as I can.

  4. Wesley Snipes iz badass. Ironman Deux will be even better.