Friday, April 04, 2008

Point Counterpoint

When I picked up the boy from the train station this afternoon, he commented on how hungry he was. "I'm really hungry," he said. Once at home, I thought for sure that inertia and his hunger would prevail but he was insistent on going to the gym. Before he left, he scrounged around the kitchen asking if we had any snacks. We did not.

A while later, he called to say he was done at the gym and picking up some food on the way home. I was upstairs on the computer so he was left to his own devices.

A few hours later, I joined him in the family room. This is an excerpt of our conversation.

Me: "So, what did you eat for dinner?"
Fizzienub: "I had my usual - a jumbo burrito and some jalepeno poppers."
Me: "You ate all of it?"
FN: "Yeah." [Becomes all huffy and defensive.] "What?! I was hungry! I don't have anything to hide. At least I'm being upfront about everything!"

He then feigned indifference and focused on watching TV but I was intrigued.

Me: "How was your workout? Did they have any classes tonight?"
FN: "Well, no. No classes. I ... umm... stretched out for a while and then worked out for 15 minutes."
Me: "You only worked out for 15 minutes?! And then you went and got food?"
FN: "Yeah."
Me: "What did you end up doing for those 15 minutes? Did you at least work up a sweat?"
FN: [Hems and haws for a bit] "I ... uh.... stretched for 5 minutes and ... errr... then did the bike for 5 minutes and... ummm.... did the eliptical for 5 minutes."
Me: "But you said you stretched first and then worked out for 15 minutes."
FN: [Eyes start to flicker back and forth] "Ummm... well, yeah. I worked out for 15 minutes including the stretching."

Unsurprisingly, this type of workout wasn't the sweat producing kind. This was followed by a few more minutes of mockery. Then a change in topic.

Me: "Hey honey, let's go to the store. I need to pick up a few things."
FN: "No way. I already went to the store."

I turned to look directly into his panic stricken eyes.

Me: "Do you see where you made your mistake?"
FN: [Nervous giggling] "What?"
Me: "You already went to the store?"
FN: [More nervous giggling.]
Me: "What did you get at the store?"
FN: "Ummm... I may have gotten some carrot cake."

In the end, he felt completely justified because he hadn't really lied to me and answered all of my point blank questions truthfully. Sometimes, I think I'm married to an alien. A stupid, hungry alien.


  1. Counterpoint! Last Wednesday I was bartering for an extra soccer game. She said "no judging... I want a Mint Oreo Blizzard". Me - "You're lactose intolerant". Her - "It's okay, I'll take a Lactaid". Me - "Uh huh..."

    Well she didn't finish her Blizzard and she was sick all night and the next day.

    She has since managed to revoke my extra soccer game.

  2. Oh, so now you're talking when making a counterpoint?

    As opposed to your farting method of arguing?

  3. I don't get it.

    Oh, and I checked, and Q is still a guy.