Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One Resume To Rule Them All

Most companies get inundated with resumes. I was thinking of ways to jazz things up and I stumbled across this font website.

Hello! This is how I can truly stand out and show people my creative side. Here's my resume in Elvish. References available upon request.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Don't Mess With My Boy

Last weekend, the boy was playing on his co-ed soccer team as usual. But some girl pushed him and he fell down.

Look at the size of his bruise! It's JUST starting to get purple and nasty.



I demanded the name of this stupid girl so that I can push her down and smack her around a bit. Ohmygosh... I am SO mad.

I think I better start going to his soccer games so I can protect him better. Seriously. Really, really mad!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Dear Diary

Credit has to go to my sister for giving me this idea. Most little girls keep a diary. I was no exception - I got my first diary on December 26, 1982 (I was 11).

A while back, I read it out loud to my husband who couldn't stop laughing. There seems to be a certain theme ... judge for yourself.

Cover: If anyone finds this please return it as soon as possible without reading the book!

Oct 27, 1983: ..."I got sort of a crush on Mark but I won't admit it to anyone. I'm not over Steve yet..."

Oct 28, 1983: "I love Mark and Steve both and I probably will never get over Steve but Mark's taking his place."

Oct 29, 1985: "Dani used to like a fellow named Barry but unfortunately, I think I am making him think that I like him! Gross!!"

Jan 2, 1986: "I am in love. Not an infatuation or a brief crush but goodness to truly love.... with Barry. Anyway, I have Barry's phone number and we called him up and said "Merry Christmas" and hung up. I called him again and this is how our conversations went:

"Hello Barry?"
"Speaking" or something like that
"We want to apologize for the other phone calls."
"Who are you?"
"Well, if you don't know that then you're retarded."

I can't remember in detail how it went but it was major thrilling to me."

May 23, 1986: "I like Raymond again!"

Aug 27, 1987: "I feel so exhilerated! On the way home, I held Andrew's hand...I'll remember it forever!"

Nov 2, 1987: "After I broke up with Andrew, I felt really depressed. I don't think I'll forget him really but it's hard to look back right now. The break up is too new. But not new enough to stop me from finding a new boyfriend. His name is James."

Feb 5, 1988: "One Tues. Feb 2 (what would have been our third month anniversary), James and I broke up."

Feb 26, 1988: "Today I took the bus home. I was sitting at the back ... when this guy comes and sits next to me. [ed. a conversation ensues]. Wow! I think I'm in love!"

~~~. ~~~.
*cough*

Err. Yeah.
I judiciously omitted the REALLY embarassing entries. What's also amazing is that I managed to maintain an A+ average.

Anyways. I throw my husband under the bus a lot. I thought it was only fair to see what the view looks like from there...

It's PRETTY FREAKING CRAPPY!